Thinking Mans Crumpet

Hello, I’m Kali…

A Birmingham Escort and health enthusiast, possesing a feminine and muscular sexuality. Alongside a peaceful and jovial disposition.

If you are seeking the company and physical pleasure of a warm, mature and confident woman, with a witty sense of humour… Greetings!

I offer solely outcalls (home and hotel visits) within the West and East Midlands. My travels also extend to – Warwickshire, Staffordshire and Worcestershire.

Please, take the time to read my website. I have created it to benefit yourself. Simply stating the necessary information, without being excessive.
I would like you to understand, that I am the woman for you. This thoughtful manner makes for a smooth booking process.

I cannot accomodate very short notice or same day appointments. So, please be logical and considerate. Typically, a minimum of 24 hours notice is required. Besides, I find this ‘today’ mentality to be seedy and vulgar.
If you are booking me with plenty of notice. Tell me the dates you are available. We can then arrange a booking suitable for the both of us based around your preferred dates.

For outcalls, I cover up to a fifty mile radius of my home. I live local to the NEC and Birmingham Airport. A two hour booking is required for those outer areas.

Also, when contacting me… tell where you are going to be staying, if you are booked into a hotel. Or the area you live in, if I am visiting you at your home. The length of time you’d like to see me and which pleasures you’d like us to satisfy.

Deposits & Availability…

Once we have mutually agreed on a date, I shall send you my bank details for a deposit.
A necessary measure to ensure I am arranging to spend time with reliable men who genuinely want to make a booking with me. More importantly, to dispel the fickle minded and unhinged.

To offer you a certain validity and peace of mind ~ you can read my reviews and field reports here on: AdultWork

A deposit is 50% of the time you are booking me for. If you need to cancel, I am content to reserve your deposit for when you are able to see me another day. Whenever that may be. I do not insist on a time frame. If a circumstance arises where I need to cancel, your deposit will be justly refunded.

The remainder of the money to be paid when I arrive. By another bank transfer or cash.

I am available for outcalls seven days a week. There are no specific days I cannot work. Yes, Sunday’s are fine.

In terms of age – as a bench mark, I lean towards clients aged 28 and over. Those who express politeness and fundamental decency when communicating with me. We’ve all had a belly full of the deceptive and childish. A sense of humour and light heartedness carries weight with me too.

Pleasures…

Massage ~ A soothing and erotic moment before…

Protected Oral and protected penetrative sex

Reverse Oral ~ Hand relief

I do not partake in the condescending mind games involved within domination and submission. I have a love for latex and I exercise for my mental and physical health. As well as longevity. Nothing more than that.

However, I do offer certain fetish pleasures. Those being more in alignment with ‘sensory’ satisfaction. Carried out in an atmosphere of playfulness and equality. If you’d like to discuss those ~ do send me an email with your desires.

I provide a pleasant and dignified service. A human experience. I like to sit with the men I entertain, when I arrive. Enjoy a little conversation over a cup of tea or coffee before sex. As well as any wanted affection afterwards.

My fee’s are inclusive of all the pleasures I offer. So, I will not accept more money for services I do not enjoy. I am also straight. Therefore, I cater for men only. I entertain one man at a time.

Please, be showered and clean with fresh breath for our time together. As I will be for you.